Who told you you were a diva? If it took a song for you to realize it, then perhaps that persona is not for you. As a matter of fact, diva had a negative connotation prior to its present celebrity as a “female version of a hustla.” I live in a geographical location where age is nothing but a number, so I can tell you I’m 19, and you either believe it or not. If you’ve ever gone through serious transitions in your life, then you definitely will feel this blog.
I once despised the word diva, until Jay-Z’s wife redefined it. And I never thought of myself as a hustla until I realized that I take more after my G of a dad, than my coolrelax mom. Everything I do and have done has been on the strength of a hustle, whether its making handbags to get paid, getting a degree, a 2nd degree, or working 9-5, then modeling 6-10, writing 11-1, sleeping and then waking up to do it all over again. The unfortunate part is that I only ever wanted to do the 6-1 shift, and the 9-5 portion was just to afford the 6-1 lifestyle. Fun times!
Now here I am in transition. I’m a mother, and even with this newfound title AND freedom, this is primetime for my 6-1 shift. I’ve always wanted the opportunity to choose my next direction. Here it is and I have no clue where to go. Some may say pray about it, but I learned if you pray, why worry? And I believe that if you pray once, God in his infinite and omniscience doesn’t need to hear it again. I have several relationships in my life right now: existing, pending, growing, strengthening, and wasting away all at one time.
The relationship with myself and with my daughter have come to an intersection, codependent on one another. Without her I am not myself and without me, she can’t be herself. So we live for each other. If I am not happy, then I have no power to commit happiness to her.
On the morning of the day of my first fashion show, post Siri, I listened to “Diva” as I got ready for the big night. And I secretly hoped the song would play as I strutted down the runway…with a big golden flower in my hair, I slow-walked Diva and took my own photo shoot at the bottom of the runway.
The ability to claim happiness through word and thought is so fascinating that I firmly believe in its power. And so now, tonight, I claim happiness. No longer about a 9-5, but the 6-1; the fun times of doing what makes me happy and what my entire life and the health of all those relationships will be contingent upon; most importantly, the relationship with myself through which the relationship with my seed evolves.
“Stop the track; let me state facts…I told you give me a minute and I’d be right back…”
LOL. Follow the blog…I’m just getting started…
