At least two of my friends have commented to me that it is a great thing that I have been able to enjoy my daughter’s life to this extent as a stay-at-home mommy.
So I’ve thought about that for a while. And I am realizing that, however planned or unplanned, this 10 months of Beautiful Victory has been an amazing ride. See, before she was even “thought of,” I had conversations that “I can’t wait to meet my daughter.” Who knew that in less than a year after that single statement, I would be getting to know her, in the flesh. She has been my little angel; my rock; my love; and my best friend. She is beautiful, and to know that she came from me, is just an amazing thing only understood by a mother. I haven’t many words for today’s blog post, except that I am grateful, however my life has come about to this date, for my life. It could not have been done any other way. The most struggle I’ve experienced has not been financial–contrary to suspected beliefs. No, in fact, I’ve come to terms with money-we have an understanding. I need it and it comes running. Ha! The greatest challenge has been establishing (or re-establishing) my values, and what is (now) most important.
The pregnancy was the best and greatest challenge and excitement and spiritual experience ever. And now that the life is here, those things I learned and understood and gained and even threw away, are here, face to face. My needs have been taken care of for a year and a half now, and I have not always been employed. I uprooted my life and living to pursue a dream, pursued it, and now onto bigger, better, or just–things. I have not had to drop the baby off at daycare at the crack of dawn because mommy has to rush off to work…at least not yet:) And for that I am grateful. She has not missed a single day of diapers, wipes, clothes, food, bathing. And for that I am grateful. She has not had health risks face her yet-developing body (because I had not always been insured). And for the occasional runny nose, I am grateful. She does not reject me, breastfeeding, behaviorally, or otherwise. And for that I am grateful. And probably the greatest thing (often mistaken by society as a weak trait among humans), is that she needs me. As much as the need to be needed gets lost on me; I am grateful that she needs me. She is a reason to wake up in the morning. She is a reason to want to live life. She is a reason to want to be at optimum health. She is a reason to want to define who I am. She is a reason to be selective about who enters my life and how. She is a reason to laugh everyday and only wipe away tears of joy that she brings. She is a reason to finally figure out the best hair product for mommy, because we have the same hair. LOL.
What I didn’t know then, I know now and am open to learning. I am glad that I have finally met my daughter. That is all.
